Christmas Cards


>>HEY NEIGHBORS!
>>WE’RE SO EXCITED TO SEE NEW FACES.
IF YOU EVER NEED ANYTHING, WE’RE RIGHT NEXT-DOOR.
>>OH, AND REAL QUICK.
NO BIG DEAL, BUT WE NOTICE YOU DON’T LEAVE
YOUR PORCH LIGHT ON AND WE WERE HOPING YOU
MIGHT DO THAT.
JUST ‘CAUSE WE HAVE A LOT OF KIDS IN THE
NEIGHBORHOOD AND
WE TRY TO KEEP THINGS NICE AND SAFE SO THEY
CAN PLAY AT NIGHT.
LIKE I SAID, NO BIG DEAL IF YOU FORGET.
I’LL JUST LEAVE A LITTLE POST-IT NOTE TO
REMIND YOU.
JUST WANT TO MAKE YOU AWARE.
>>SEASON’S GREETINGS!
THE HARTFORD’S.
>>HI HARTFORD’S!
THANKS SO MUCH FOR THE WARM WELCOME.
BY THE WAY, THE COOKIES WERE DELICIOUS.
>>CAROL, WE’RE SURE TO LEAVE THAT PORCH
LIGHT ON FOR YOU.
I NOTICED THAT MOST OF THOSE KIDS PLAYING
OUT THERE ARE YOURS.
I ACTUALLY SAW THE YOUNGEST ONE EATING DIRT
THE
OTHER DAY AND I THOUGHT, “SO CUTE.”
YOU MUST BE SO PROUD.
>>MERRY CHRISTMAS, LOVE THE JONES’.
>>HI JONES’!
>>HARD TO BELIEVE IT’S ALREADY BEEN A YEAR.
SEEMS JUST LIKE YESTERDAY YOU MOVED IN.
>>JENNIFER, THANK YOU FOR ALL OF THE MAKE
OVER TIPS YOU’VE GIVEN ME.
YOU REALLY HAVE SHARED A LOT OF ADVICE ABOUT
IMPROVING MY APPEARANCE.
>>WE HOPE YOU ENJOY THE BAKED GOODS WE LEFT
YOU.
CAROL REALLY OUTDID HERSELF THIS YEAR.
>>AND THANKS FOR THE ONES YOU LEFT US.
OH, THAT’S RIGHT, YOU DIDN’T SEND ANY.
JK, JK.
WE KNOW JENNIFER IS REALLY BUSY WITH THE BLOG
AND HER
CAT AND WE HAVE SIX KIDS, BUT OH WELL.
>>WE LOVE HAVING YOU AS NEIGHBORS.
LOOKING FORWARD TO THE NEW YEAR.
>>OH AND JUST A FRIENDLY REMINDER ABOUT
THAT PORCH LIGHT.
WE KNOW IT’S EASY TO FORGET, BUT YOU KNOW,
KIDS AND SAFETY!
IT’S IMPORTANT.
MAYBE YOU JUST HAVEN’T BEEN SEEING THE POST-ITS
NOTES I’VE BEEN LEAVING.
>>ALL OUR LOVE, THE HARTFORD’S.
>>HEY HARTFORD’S.
>>YOU TWO ARE THE BEST.
THANKS AGAIN FOR THOSE COOKIES.
>>CAROL, YOU ARE JUST THE SWEETEST.
I’M SURE NO ONE WOULD ACCOMPLISH ANYTHING
IN THIS
NEIGHBORHOOD IF YOU WEREN’T THERE TO TELL
THEM WHAT TO DO
AND HOW TO DO IT ALL THE TIME.
AND THOSE POST-ITS ARE GREAT.
YOU MUST BE KEEPING THAT COMPANY IN BUSINESS.
THEY MUST LIKE REALLY LOVE YOU.
THAT’S GREAT.
>>WE GOT TO HAVE YOU TWO OVER FOR DINNER SOMETIME.
MAYBE NEW YEARS?
>>YEAH, CAROL CAN COOK AND I CAN HELP TAKE
CARE OF THAT SMALL
ARMY YOU HAVE FOR A FAMILY. DIDN’T THE OLDEST
ONE
GRADUATE THIS YEAR?
OH, OR WAS HE THE ONE WHO DROPPED OUT
TO START A SKA BAND?
OH MY GOODNESS.
I HOPE NOT.
I WOULD FEEL AWFUL FOR BRINGING THAT UP.
>>ALL OUR LOVE, THE JONES’.
>>WELL ANOTHER YEAR HAS PASSED AND–
>>YET YOU STILL FORGET TO TURN ON THAT STUPID
PORCH LIGHT.
TRAINED MONKEYS COULD DO THAT.
EVEN UNTRAINED MONKEYS MIGHT ACCIDENTALLY
BUMP
AGAINST THE LIGHT SWITCH.
YOU’RE DOING IT ON PURPOSE JENNIFER I KNOW
YOU ARE ON PURPOSE.
>>WE HOPE THIS CHRISTMAS FILLS YOU WITH HAPPINESS–
>>SINCE YOUR LIFE IS EMPTY!
>>HATE THE HARTFORD’S.
>>LOVE THE HARTFORD’S.
>>UH, I’M NOT SURE WHAT’S–>>SORRY ABOUT
THAT
PORCH LIGHT CAROL.
MAYBE I NEEDED 10,000 MORE REMINDERS.
TOO BAD AN ACRE OF THE RAINFOREST HAD TO DIE
SO
THAT WE COULD HAVE YOUR PERFECT POSTED POST-IT
PAPERS.
OH, WHAT’S THAT ENDANGERED TREE FROG YOU
WANT A HOME–
SMOTHERED BY A POST IT.
>>UH…
PERHAPS WE SHOULD ALL JUST–>>YOU KNOW WHAT
MAYBE YOU
SHOULD HAVE SAVED ONE OF THOSE LITTLE REMINDERS
FOR YOUR SON.
“HEY HONEY, “THIS IS JUST A FRIENDLY
“REMINDER TO NOT DROP “OUT OF HIGH SCHOOL!
“P.S. HAVE FUN PERFORMING “FOR THE FIVE
PEOPLE WHO
STILL LISTEN TO SKA MUSIC.”
>>ALL OUR LOVE, THE JONES’.
>>DEAR JONES’.
>>I WILL END YOU JENNIFER!
>>YAY.
MAYBE WE JUST LET THIS GO.
>>ALL THE PORCH LIGHTS IN THE ENTIRE NEIGHBORHOOD
WERE
MYSTERIOUSLY SMASHED TO TINY PIECES LAST NIGHT.
YOU THINK THAT’S FUNNY?
I’LL SHOW YOU SOMETHING FUNNY.
[EVIL LAUGHTER]>>HONEY?
HONEY, WHY ARE YOU WRITING OUT THE EVIL LAUGH?
WHY ARE YOU WRITING WHAT I’M SAYING?
STOP.
STOP WRITING WHAT I’M SAYING.
>>LOVE THE HARTFORD’S.
P.S. YEAH, I WROTE THIS CARD IN BLOOD.
GUESS WHO’S?
>>PLEASE–>>WHERE IS MY CAT CAROL?
WHERE IS MY CAT?
>>I THINK IF EVERYONE COULD JUST TAKE A STEP
BACK.
>>OH WE ARE BEYOND DIPLOMACY NOW.
WE CROSSED THAT THRESHOLD WHEN YOU LEFT YOUR
LAST POST
IT ON THE BRICK YOU THREW THROUGH OUR WINDOW.
>>OH MAYBE WE COULD GET EVERYONE–
>>ENJOY THE PIE I LEFT YOU.
WHAT’S THAT?
YOU DIDN’T NOTICE ONE?
OH, THAT’S RIGHT.
I LEFT IT INSIDE YOUR HOUSE BETTER FIND IT
SOON BECAUSE
THE RECIPE CALLED FOR EGGS, FLOUR, AND NITROGLYCERIN!
HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
LOVE THE PEOPLE WHO ARE GOING TO KILL YOU!
>>DEAR NEIGHBORS, THIS IS SUSAN FROM
DOWN THE STREET.
LIKED TO ASK YOU TO KEEP THE NOISE DOWN.
IT’S LOUD AND FRANKLY RUDE OF YOU.
SO PLEASE SHOW SOME RESPECT FOR THE OTHER
PEOPLE ON THE BLOCK.
THANKS AND MERRY CHRISTMAS.
>>HELLO.
>>AND MERRY CHRISTMAS SUSAN.

100 thoughts on “Christmas Cards

  1. I love how the husbands are just trying to stop them and work it out but the wives never listen to them

  2. Hartfords and joneses- arguing**
    Susan- please stop…
    Hartfords and joneses- SHUT IT SUSAN
    Hartfords Joneses and susan- arguing
    (On the roof)
    Santa- ho, ho, no…

  3. Matt and Jason just look at each other in fear at the end in anticipation of the coming events and I do not blame the men. Their respective wives just had a feud going on for years and now they just joined forces, as what can only be described as Hate-Friends, when someone tried to ask them the be considerate of the rest of the neighborhood. It would be weird if they weren’t scared.

  4. Hey baby want some arthritis! Purple commercial by Mallory (I think)

  5. “… so they (the neighborhood kids) can play at night”
    WHAT?! WHAT KIND OF PARENTS WOULD ACTUALLY ALLOW THAT?!
    “It’s loud, and frankly rude of you. Please have respect for other people on the block…”
    YEAH THAT PROBABLY WASN’T THE BEST WAY TO HANDLE THAT!

  6. you can see it in Mallory's and Whitney's eyes that they're not gonna let Susan live past New Years
    you can also see that Jason and Matt are fearing for their lives

  7. Who knew that all of those beauty tips worked for Susan Weebers? Too bad she’s about to get smothered by a post-it.

  8. Omg, Melvin Jones from the photobombing class, and mal, are married and they’re called the jones’s. Oml I never realized!

  9. "Enjoy the pie I left you. What's that? You couldn't find one? Oh, that's right, I must have left it at your house. You better find it soon, because the recipe calls for eggs, flour, and nitro-glycerin!

  10. “Stupid porch light”
    If it’s stupid why would you want her to turn it on

  11. 4:27 the cat collar is in the background of the Hartford’s house 😅😂

  12. There should have been a desperate housewives episode formatted like that

  13. Why do they only talk on christmas also why do they even send Christmas cards

  14. I’m watching this in 2019 and I still crack up every time
    Like if it’s the same for you

  15. “HAPPY HOLIDAYS LOVE THE PEOPLE WHO ARE GONNA KILL YOU!!”

    OMG HAHA

  16. It's 2019, and I'm re watching some of my favourite sketches, and i only now just realised they have the cat collar 4:48

  17. The husband are looking like, HELP MEEEEE!

    small channel trying to grow

  18. 5:23 I like how they just join forces to (supposedly) kill Susan. I mean with a name like that I don’t blame them

  19. is it just me or do i hate when malarie wears a wig? i love her natural hair.

  20. I'm just a clueless person who have never lived a suburbian cul de sac but… Why is the porchlight thing such a big deal?

  21. "i saw the youngest one eating dirt the other day. and i thought, 'so cute.'" i died!!

  22. Nitroglycerin actually tastes and smells sweet, so that was actually pretty smart of her to make it into a pie.

  23. Really feel sorry for the husbands in that one. Sure, it's funny to the rest of us for a few minutes, but those guys had to live with those psychos. =)

  24. Wait….. The first time Whitney got mad at the end she said HATE THE HARDFORDS so…… She hates her family??????

  25. Ok this is like the twentieth time I have watched this episode over the years, but I only just noticed it is Hartfords and not Harpers.

  26. Matt and Jason trying to keep the peace be like: Maybe we-
    Whitney and Mallory: I'M GOING TO END YOU!

  27. Too real! This is me, my neighbors, and their darned porchlight which is never on… And their cat

  28. Feeling level:
    0:03 happy
    0:33 peaceful
    0:59 she's trying to warn you
    2:02 okay what's going on
    2:53 uh oh
    3:20 oh no
    3:54 pissed off
    4:26 extremely Furious
    4:58 lets be nice
    5:22 Merry Christmas Susan Test

  29. If Whitney cared so much about her kids’ safety, then why does she let them play at night?

  30. Is it just me, or do the men look more worried with every Christmas card after 2014's card?

  31. I think Matt and Jason should start writing Christmas cards in secret. This went on for years, and they still let their wives write the cards. At least they kinda got together in the end, even if it was very, very creepy

    Also, this was all because Jennifer didn't turn on the porch light.

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